Saturday, January 31, 2009

Irritating Commericals

Perhaps I've been watching a bit too much TV lately. I have not added new shows to those I watch, but the ones I am hooked on, I just can't quit. I mainly watch three channels - LifeTime, USA Network and TNT. These channels seem to play nearly the same commercials with infuriating regularity. Normally, I don't mind commercials but there have been several lately that are like fingernails on a blackboard.

  1. Viva Viagra. Shows a bunch of silver-haired couples running around god-knows-where. Who the fuck cares? I don't want to even live to be that old. Take me God, I'm ready! And the song they rip-off - Viva Las Vegas (I fucking HATE Las Vegas, but that's another post altogether). That's all I need - 'VIVA VIAGRA!' in my head all day!

  2. Kleenex. Touch. Touch. Touch. Touch. Touch. Touch. Touch. Touch. Touch. Touch. Touch. Touch. Enough fucking touching! I can't stand it! What the fuck does touching all that shit have to do with touching a kleenex? And that whisper-like sound of that voice....don't get me started. Yes, they are soft. DUH! Why in hell else would anyone buy them? Jesus. I'd like to hunt down the smarmy-bastard ad exec who created this moronic idea and castrate him (it has to be a man, women aren't that stupid) and castrate him because his stupidity should not be allowed to procreate. And the REAL moral of the commerical? Don't actually BUY the kleenex, just steal as many as you can when you come across a box somewhere else!

  3. H&R Block/TurboTax - the whole lot of those type of commercials. H&R Block is the biggest rip-off I've seen in the tax prep world. I should disclose that I am a CPA so I may be a bit biased, but I've not seen an H&R Block return that I didn't amend to fix something they fucked up. "You've got people." I hate those mother-fucking people. Two weeks of training and they are suddenly pros? Pah-fucking-lease! And these latest commercials are with the dead presidents. Hasn't that been done to death? I know I recently ranted about the Blockheads but it wasn't sufficient to express my ire!

  4. Burger King - I don't eat at BK, and their commercials couldn't sway me further away. That weird King suit with the built-in pedo-smile? Creepy! And the whole Whopper family - just disgusting. The one where the father is giving advice to his son about dating, and gives him an extra napkin - reminds me of my bulimia days.

  5. "He went to Jared!" Materialistic bitch! What you mean is that he is in hock up to his ears to buy you a fucking blood diamond. A smart guy would buy a cheap Wal-Mart ring (don't forget to coat the inside with clear fingernail polish to avoid the green marks) and then put it in a Jared box.

What ones am I missing? I'm sure there are more.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009


For the past 8 years, our nation has been on a downward slide. That time has finally ended. I am not sure which moment was the best for me, whether it was the goosebumps I felt as I watched Obama take the oath, or if it was the helicopter taking W away!

We have a leader of integrity. We have a leader who actually knows what it is like to WORK! He's a human; fully-evolved, even! And doesn't the First Lady look SMASHING? I'm still mesmerized by it all.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Assorted Rants

  1. H&R Block Commercials - "We Got People." Sure, when you are staffed by idiots who have about 10 days of training it is certain to take "people" to get the returns done right! As a CPA who has worked my ass off for almost 11 years, I find these commercials about as offensive as so-called "professional wrestling." The number of returns of these "people" that I have had to amend to correct them is staggering. It's all about numbers -getting people in and out, customer service be damned. And the products they sell: rapid refund, loans, etc., sound so good until you realize you are paying nearly 22% interest, or even higher! And after all the money they spend on advertising, you would think they could afford a decent printer that actually prints things aligned on the damned pages.
  2. It's Fucking Cold! It is -16.9°F (-27.2°C) outside. The projected high today is -5­°F (-20.5°C). Our normal high is 22­°F (-5.6°C). At least we have a substantial blanket of snow to protect my plants. I always worry about my roses, between those bastard rabbits eating them, this extreme cold does not bode well for them, either. And the cost! I can just hear the money being sucked out of my bank account!
  3. Idiots. I seem to be exposed to an above average array of idiots: people who cannot manage their money by spending it frivilously and then complain they cannot pay their bills, automotons who use computers for work on a daily basis but still flip out when they get a message box, morons who supposedly graduated from college but can't apply their knowledge to routine and recurring items that should be a no-brainer for anyone who graduated high school!
  4. Banks. Bail them out so they can hoard the money to buy up more failed lenders. And WE get to pay for it. They charge outrageous fees for simple, automated transactions that now make up almost more of their revenue than what is supposed to: interest! And the interest rates. They sure know how to charge it but don't know how to pay it. My local bank pays me .15% (that is about 1/7 of a percent) PER YEAR! The rates for mortgages - from 5-7% in my area, at least, and operating notes for business? Around 8-11%. Something doesn't add up. I opened an Orange Savings Account that pays 2.5% APY. If they can pay it, I don't doubt the local banks can as well! Rich bastards!

I think that's enough for today. I could probably list a zillion rants but I do not wish to sound too bitter. I'll save that for another day!

To end on a somewhat positive note, I did post new pictures of the kids on my Flickr page.