Tuesday, July 07, 2009

Laugh at my expense - I insist!

My father had his right hip replaced on Monday. I figured the first day he would be completely out of it, so I would wait until today to visit him in the hospital. I stopped in tonight after working at an event for a local non-profit. It was about 10:15 but I checked and he was still awake, so I went up there. Things were going well. He looked pretty good, obviously a bit groggy from the drugs.

I'd been there about ten minutes gabbing and my dad explained, casually, WHAT it is that they do when replacing a hip - power tools were mentioned - the whole works. Being the "tough guy" that I am, I was handling it quite well, or so I thought. I did feel a bit warm and I attributed that to running from the parking lot in the pouring rain (I don't run, usually), and I figured I just needed a glass of water. I stood up to go to the sink and I recall becoming a bit light-headed as I got my water. I took a sip and thought it was just what I needed until I felt the room spinning violently and my feet didn't seem to work. I tried to walk to the chair but I couldn't navigate. I recall my father asking me if I was okay and I remember spilling the water on me and then the next thing I knew there were FOUR nurses in the room, looking down at me.

Yep, I fainted.

I think I was trying to get down to the floor and then just fell, but it's still a bit hazy. One of the nurses had misunderstood WHO had fallen on the floor, and thought it was my father but she was relieved - until I closed my eyes and asked them to just leave me on the floor. I recall all of them repeating at intervals 'You look awfully pale...You don't look so good.', etc. One of them said I looked awfully green and she thought I should visit the ER! I assured them I was fine and didn't need anything but to lay there for a while. At their insistance, they helped me up and to the chair. I told them I was sure that I didn't hit my head falling and they finally left me alone after replacing my ice water, since I was wearing my first cup. I know I was laughing when I started to feel better and I told them all to have a good laugh out of it; if nothing else, I brought a little excitement to their night. I think my dad got a good chuckle out of it, and I hope you do, too.

The name Pansy Bastard is just SO fitting!

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oh Matthew...you truely make me laugh. Sorry to hear about your trip to the floor, glad to know that your dad is doing well. Thx for the chuckle! Love beanie!

Mitzi said...

The next time you feel a faint coming on, put your head inbetween a male nurse's legs.

My mother had her hip replaced with a baby bellig camping stove so she can cook in bed, but then they charged her for two on the bus so she had it removed.

The Pansy Bastard™ said...

LOL - Mitzi!

Anonymous said...

I wanted to say something here, but Mitzi's comment has made me forget!

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