I love Some ecards!

This one hit me as so damned funny, I had tears streaming down my face.

Summer is ending..flowers are fading

What an odd summer we've had. Cool days and scorching hot days, but the humidity has been fairly constant. I still have a few late daylilies trying to extend the summer season. I staggered my gladiolus to enjoy some later bloom. Oddly, my hibiscus, which are heat-loving, seem to be doing quite well.

Yet another favorite

This is yet another favorite of my babies. The shape is not typical of most daylilies, which is always a plus and I love the color. Not sure what I would call the color but the photo doesn't fully do it justice.

Pretty in Pink?

Another pink seedling of Barbara Mitchell. This one has the color not the form, so I'm thinking it's a Hyperion/Mitchell cross. Regardless, it's pretty, and it's pink, and lightly fragrant.

A beautiful new baby blooming

This daylily was planted in 2006, and took the typical three years to get to blooming size, but I think it was well worth the wait! While you see tons of oranges and yellows in the market as well as in landscapes everywhere, most of them don't have a nice eyezone or different colored sepals. Plus, this thing is HUGE! AND, it's a late one. This is the first of a tons of blooms to come. If you don't know, the reason they are called daylilies is that each flower lasts for ONE day, but it has a number of buds on the flower scapes, so they can bloom for weeks at a time. Most of them bloom from June through the end of July here, so I am pleased to have one start later.

One of my new babies - AND a favorite of mine

This beauty holds its color with the hot sun shining, quite radiantly.

Ribbons?

I can't put a name on it. It kinda reminds me of the ribbons you use to make your own bow. Maybe I'm off. I just know that it's a really interesting color along with thickness of the petals and a light fragrance as well.

A Little Beauty

This little seedling possesses a few of the qualities I have been trying to capture when making crosses - deeply colored veins, dark eyezone, ruffled petals, all on a pretty base color. It's only about 18" tall, and the flowers about 3" across, so it will fit nicely in tight spots.

A Painted Lily

This daylily is unlike any other I have seen or grown. The petals look like they have been painted on with a painbrush. I thought it was just a fluke on the first flower but they have all been like it. The flowers are fairly large, too, at least 5" across. And the scapes are pretty tall, too.

Is this a star?

I finally got a good shot of this flower. It is one of those that is hard to capture.

Simply Elegant

This is the first bloom to open for this seedling of Hyperion. It's color is a creamy yellow with crisp edges and white midribs. Add in the fragrance of Hyperion and I could have a field of these!

NEW Baby!

You really need to click on the image and view it in the large size to truly appreciate it.


This baby has been a number of years in the making, at the very least, three years, probably four, though. It has a very heavy substance and it just GLOWS in the garden. It's in between a ton of other lilies and I noticed it from a distance, in the rain. It is definitely a child of Night Wings (a near-black tetraploid).

Notice the midribs heavily defined on the petals, and even visible on the sepals! I can't wait to see it in the sun (if we ever get to see the sun again)!

Laugh at my expense - I insist!

My father had his right hip replaced on Monday. I figured the first day he would be completely out of it, so I would wait until today to visit him in the hospital. I stopped in tonight after working at an event for a local non-profit. It was about 10:15 but I checked and he was still awake, so I went up there. Things were going well. He looked pretty good, obviously a bit groggy from the drugs.

I'd been there about ten minutes gabbing and my dad explained, casually, WHAT it is that they do when replacing a hip - power tools were mentioned - the whole works. Being the "tough guy" that I am, I was handling it quite well, or so I thought. I did feel a bit warm and I attributed that to running from the parking lot in the pouring rain (I don't run, usually), and I figured I just needed a glass of water. I stood up to go to the sink and I recall becoming a bit light-headed as I got my water. I took a sip and thought it was just what I needed until I felt the room spinning violently and my feet didn't seem to work. I tried to walk to the chair but I couldn't navigate. I recall my father asking me if I was okay and I remember spilling the water on me and then the next thing I knew there were FOUR nurses in the room, looking down at me.

Yep, I fainted.

I think I was trying to get down to the floor and then just fell, but it's still a bit hazy. One of the nurses had misunderstood WHO had fallen on the floor, and thought it was my father but she was relieved - until I closed my eyes and asked them to just leave me on the floor. I recall all of them repeating at intervals 'You look awfully pale...You don't look so good.', etc. One of them said I looked awfully green and she thought I should visit the ER! I assured them I was fine and didn't need anything but to lay there for a while. At their insistance, they helped me up and to the chair. I told them I was sure that I didn't hit my head falling and they finally left me alone after replacing my ice water, since I was wearing my first cup. I know I was laughing when I started to feel better and I told them all to have a good laugh out of it; if nothing else, I brought a little excitement to their night. I think my dad got a good chuckle out of it, and I hope you do, too.

The name Pansy Bastard is just SO fitting!

Another baby

I have tentatively named this one "Egyptian Ivory" because of it's color and it's parentage - Egyptian Ibis, which was the pod parent.

Sunday Stealing - "I've come to realize meme"

1. I’ve come to realize that my chest-size. . .
...is larger than my aunt's.

2. I’ve come to realize that my job. . .
...can be a pain in the ass but is really doing something I love.

3. I’ve come to realize that when I’m driving. . .
...I'm a total fucking psycho.

4. I’ve come to realize that I need. . .
...liposuction!

5. I’ve come that realize that I have lost. . .
...MY YOUTH!

6. I’ve come to realize that I hate it when. . .
...half the people I know begin to speak.

7. I’ve come to realize that if I’m drunk. . .
...I will most certainly die of anaphylactic shock.

8. I’ve come to realize that money...
...could probably buy me happiness.

9. I’ve come to realize that certain people. . .
...should really be dead.

10. I’ve come to realize that I’ll always. . .
...bitch about something.

11. I’ve come to realize that my sibling(s). . .
...are pretty damned awesome.

12. I’ve come to realize that my mom…
...looking fucking younger than I!

13. I’ve come to realize that my cell phone. . .
...is a pain in the ass that I would love to run over with my car!

14. I’ve come to realize that when I woke up this morning. . .
...I was hoping it wouldn't happen.

15. I’ve come to realize that last night before I went to sleep. . .
...I was curious to see if anyone bothered to read this and comment.

16. I’ve come to realize that right now I am thinking. . .
...of those damned deer and rabbits pillaging my garden since it rained away my liquid fence.

17. I’ve come to realize that my dad. . .
...really needs to be on prozac.

18. I’ve come to realize that when I get on Facebook. . .
...I'm sucked into those damned games!

19. I’ve come to realize that today. . .
...is never long enough, yet is often too long.

20. I’ve come to realize that tonight. . .
...is over and I should be in bed!

21. I’ve come to realize that tomorrow. . .
...is going to be a pain in the ass

22. I’ve come to realize that I really want to. . .
...hybridize a lily that will appeal to the masses

23. I’ve come to realize that the person mostly likely to repost this is. . .
...Joe

24. I’ve come to realize that life. . .
...is a lot of work.

25. I’ve come to realize that this weekend. . .
...really sucked.

26. I’ve realized the best music to listen to when I am upset. . .
...is Sarah McLachlan.

27. I’ve come to realize that my friends. . .
...are incredibly patient.

28. I’ve come to realize that this year. . .
...hasn't been as bad as last year.

29. I’ve come to realize that me exes. . .
...are forever staying that way!

30. I’ve come to realize that maybe I should. . .
...file the piles of crap in my office.

31. I’ve come to realize that I love. . .
...

32. I’ve come to realize that I don’t understand. . .
...how people can watch faux wresting (RAW, etc.)

33. I’ve come to realize my past. . .
...has long shadows.

34. I’ve come to realize that parties. . .
...are not unlike meetings - DULL!

35. I’ve come to realize that I’m totally terrified. . .
...of spiders.

36. I’ve come to realize that my life. . .
...in wonderously complicated.

Daylily Seedling (first bloomed 2005)

One of my favorite daylily seedlings. It's a cross of Hyperion and Prairie Blue Eyes.

Lilium Candidum - The Madonna Lily

One of the oldest lilies in cultivation, and an often temperamental one to grow, when it blooms, it puts other lilies to shame: flawless white color, striking gold stamens and an enchanting scent unbeatable by any other lily.

Rose

The only rosebush to escape the wrath of the satanic deer and bunnies (because it dies back to the ground every year) is blooming like crazy this year. The color is hard to capture.

My month so far can be summed us thusly:

April showers bring May flowers; May and June showers bring......

...weeds, wet flowers and mud! Every other day it seems to rain or at least remain mostly cloudy which, no doubt, is causing my vitamin D deficiency. The cottonwoods are spewing their evil cotton, which seems to have a 150% germination rate because I have those stupid things popping up everywhere! And heaven forbid the dog go potty on the grassy areas! She seems to hone in on the muddiest paths. And my liquid fence has been washed away more times than I care to count, so the rabbits and deer are having a smorgasboard with just about everything. I have daisies with no petals, just the yellow centers. Hell, why not just eat the whole thing?? Probably because then I wouldn't have to run around dead-heading them. Bastards.

At least my peonies are surviving. Peonies are such beautiful flowers, usually fragrant and long lasting. Peonies, however, do not do well with rain while blooming. I always have at least one bouqet on my nightstand so I can enjoy their scent but this year I've got vases all over the place!

Yellow Iris

Finally! After about 10 years of nothing, the little bastard decided to bloom. I guess it was worth the wait. It's gorgeous!

Iris seedling

A NEW seedling, planted in 2007, has finally decided it would bloom this year, and the result is just stunning (at least to me!).

I would call it a silvery-white.

For more of my Iris, they are on my flickr page.

Iris

The first iris is one of my seedlings that finally bloomed for the first time last year but wasn't too impressive. This year, it has really done well. Its pod-parent was Edith Wolford, which has opposite colors.



The second picture is one of my seedlings that looks very similar to the original species I. Germanica. The beards are vibrantly orange.



The last one is the heirloom iris Eleanor Roosevelt.

I hope to have a couple other seedlings blooming soon, one I know will be pink, the other is too soon to tell. The weather this "spring" has been so nuts that things are not blooming when they normally do.

Smells of Spring

One of most favorite smells of Spring are those of burning leaves, branches, yard debris, and the occasional odd piece of plastic, fiberglass or other noxiously-fumed material. I think I'm going to make a line of candles of the new smells of spring:

Burning Garbage - combines the sweet smell of leftovers you can't feed the dog, burning plastic, putrescent eggs, and a hint of spoiled milk.

Burning Leaves - combines the smell of wet and moldy leaves of oak, maple, and ash trees with just a hint of gasoline and a touch of sulphur.

Shotgun Blow back - nothing more refreshing than the invigorating smell of a recently fired 12-gauge shotgun, complete with smoke.

Freshly Plowed Farm - a collection of cow, horse, pig, and sheep manure, mixed with highlights of diesel fuel and rotting hay

Lily of the Valley

Spring would not be complete without the intoxicating, sweet smell of Lily of the Valley. My pink ones, for which I paid a zillion dollars, did not bloom. However, the white ones did quite spectacularly. The photo is of a bunch I picked to bring inside. My entire room is sweetly scented. It's heavenly!

LOSER

I'm not sure which is worse - being a school board member and living in his parents' basement, or having his dad call 911 because he's a slob and then becoming a hot news item.


If I were him, I'd be looking at suicide options.

Mother Nature is a PSYCHO-BITCH!

The weather has been insane! It was warm one week and then cold and then semi-warm, and then rain, rain, rain, rain, and then HAIL FROM HELL - 3" I had all over my yard, shredding what was blooming. It has been pretty cool for this time of year, which isn't conducive to most flowers. My oldest and favorite peony - only half of it is coming up this year, the other half must be dead. Normally it would be knee-high by now. And my Seven Sister's rose, which I got from my grandmother, who got it from her mother-in-law, who got it from her mother...and so on and so forth - well, it died back to the ground, but is FINALLY coming up. Of course, it only blooms on old wood, so no beatiful clusters of seven flowers this year. I even protected it with chicken-wire. It was this crazy-ass weather. My lilacs are doing ok. The biggest one is blooming, but only on the highest branches. One of the babies I moved a few years ago is finally blooming, I might snap a shot of it tomorrow. The other two babies I planted at the same time haven't done shit. I'm going to dig them up and plant something else there. I've got 600+ daylily seeds in peat pots in the fridge, and I'll be able to start pulling them out in a few weeks. They don't bloom for at least two seasons but they are my babies. At least my flowers have sex!

First photos of Spring 2009

Now, remember, I am NOT a photographer. I barely know how to hit the damned button to take the picture. I'm a flower fag, not a technofile.


Narcissus "Stainless" - flawless white, beautiful fragrance.


Narcissus "Salomé" - pinkish cup, tall, long-lasting in the vase.


Nacissus "Ice Follies" - hard to see the yellow cup. They eventually turn white-ish. A good bloomer - I've had these for years.


Iris - ?? - Miniature Iris - I'm not sure of the exact name of this one. It's literally not more than 3 inches tall, in bloom. One of my faves.

Obama at 100 Days....

(Isn't he just cute as hell in this pic??)











I give him an A+++! Such a mess to inherit. SOME PEOPLE (read: Republifuckers) seem to have exceedingly short memories as to who is largely responsible for the disaster we are in, and it's NOT the CUTE President, it's the UGLY and FUCKING MORONIC ONE & Co (not to mention the puppet master, Darth Cheney).

Congress - I'm a bit pissed at the poo-pooing about prosecuting the criminals after the release of the torture memos. I read as much as I could stomach of them and was outraged, and we should ALL be outraged - every American citizen - at the things that were done with FULL knowledge of Chimpy & Co.

When you stoop to that level, you only invite people to want to revenge you for it. Besides the obvious ethical issues, every reputable intelligence angency will tell you that torture does NOT provide reliable intelligence.

And not to forget our First Lady. Such grace and elegance! I still think it's cool as hell that she hugged the Queen. Wouldn't we all?

We'll miss you, Dorothy!

Everyone is blogging about Beatrice Arthur's death but I felt I needed to pay homage to a woman who, with her co-stars, helped me through some of the most difficult times in my life. It may seem rather silly to some that a television show can take credit for that, maybe shallow, but who cares - screw them. I have always found laughter to be a cure for things, and scientifically, it has been proven that laughter releases endorphins. I would watch my favorite episodes over and over and always manage to get a good laugh out of them, even if I could recite the dialog right along with them.

What self-respecting fag DOESN'T love The Golden Girls? I've not met any. And if not, they obviously have no taste.

Rest In Peace, Bea.

Spring is in the air....FINALLY!

The wicked bitch - Mother Nature - has FINALLY decided that we are allowed spring here in Iowa. We're having some April showers, and I'm counting on May flowers but those bastard rabbits are eating my tulips as fast as they come up.
I applied Liquid Fence. Have you read the label of that shit? Putrescent egg solids - and garlic. NASTY! The smell of it about killed me and it says the animals can smell it long after it dries. Well, the rabbits I have out here must be like mutants or something because it doesn't seem to stop them. Thank GOD they don't like daffodils.

So, I've decided to go extreme. I've loaded up on short-range shells for my .22 (I know, imagine ME with a gun!) and I'm on a mission! I'd like to have multiple montiors outside playing that really nasty loop of Watership Down, too.

Then, I have deer. I looked out my kitchen window and there was this fucking deer chomping on my rose bush. I knocked on the window. It looked up at me after about 10 slams on the glass and then mentally said "Fuck you!" and went on eating. I thought about letting the dog out but she couldn't catch a rat on a gluetrap, so I opened the window and used the kitchen hose sprayer. There is no way in hell I'm gonna shoot that close to my house, or a window.

Why don't they make rabbit poison or deer poison? They make rat poison, mouse poison, bug poisons. How much rat poison would it take to kill a deer? Jesus. All I know is, if those bastards touch my daylilies OR iris, I'm planting fucking land mines!

RIP: My Favorite Teacup!

Tragedy has struck my household!! My favorite teacup, a limited-edition Roy Kirkham 1992 Iris cup(#54!) which had a small chip (my doing), cracked irreparably when I poured in the water for my first cup of tea yesterday morning.

Thankfully, I have a number of other ones but #54! Such a low number! I am going to at least glue it and plant something in it but it will never be the same. I've had that cup for 17 years - since it came out. I thought I would have that cup forever!

Superiority

There should be an 'ALMOST' inserted in there.

Leave my Obama alone, you bastards!

Why is it that Obama is expected to fix our economy in 30 seconds, when the disaster was building over 8 years? Were a Republifucker in office, the press wouldn't dare expect any immediate results, let alone a time-table!

My Republifucker "acquaintences" have been just blasting Obama's budget and basically everything he's tried to do to fix this mess we are in that THEY created! Granted, some Democrats had a hand in this mess, but let's lay the blame where it belongs.

National Debt - beginning of GW Bush's first stolen term: $5.8 Trillon
National Debt - end of GW Bush's second stolen term: $10.7 Trillion (10,700,000,000,000), that amounts to $51 billion PER MONTH!


GWBUSH & Republifucker-controlled Congress:

Budget Deficits by Year:
2001 128 B
2002 158 B
2003 378 B
2004 413 B
2005 318 B
2006 248 B
2007 162 B

And let's not forget the reason why we got into this mess. De-regulation. An SEC with no teeth. Oversight? Regulations? Chimpy didn't know what those words meant, Darth Cheney knew, so he squelched it all.

Enron(Lay was one of GW's buds), Worldcom.

And how about those tax cuts? I do taxes for a living, and I can tell you who saved the most - those who MADE the most. You, me, the average taxpayer, saw our marginal tax rate decrease from 25% to, hmm, 25%, or, say 15% to 15%. Granted, we all saved about $350 in savings from the 10% bracket those tax cuts created. Big deal. The top earners, with taxable income over about $370,000, their rate went from 39.6% to 35%, a savings of 4.6%. So, at the very least, say they had $400,000 in taxable income, on just the $30,000 alone, they saved $1,380, and that's a tiny example.

Then the capital gain rate of 15% on dividends. I get a few on my mutual funds, but nothing substantial. They went from being taxed at a maximum of 39.6% to no more than 15%. Who rakes in the most dividends? Not the average, middle-class family. Not those who WORK for a living! Example: Darth Cheney's EFFECTIVE tax rate on his 2007 tax return - 19.1% - on income of just over $3M! He should be in the 35% bracket, but his qualified dividends of $233,000 saved him $69,000 using the qualified dividend rate. And I just can imagine that he is letting his income stimulate our economy, since he had a foreign tax credit of $11,000, he's obviously not investing here much!

Enough ranting. At least one good thing came out of that assinine email - this darling picture I didn't have before. It's Obama point to those bastards who made the mess (in my mind). Now tell me, did Bush EVER look "Presidential?"

Happy February 14th

IDIOCY

I bought a new phone cord and THIS was on the back of the package. Logic would seem to dictate that if you were buying a phone cord you might have an inkling as to what in hell to do with it. It's not like you have five or six choices when hooking the thing up!

People who need this image should really be employed cleaning up nuclear waste.

Support the cause and sign the petition, damn it!!

"Fidelity": Don't Divorce... from Courage Campaign on Vimeo.

Click HERE to sign the petition.

Irritating Commericals

Perhaps I've been watching a bit too much TV lately. I have not added new shows to those I watch, but the ones I am hooked on, I just can't quit. I mainly watch three channels - LifeTime, USA Network and TNT. These channels seem to play nearly the same commercials with infuriating regularity. Normally, I don't mind commercials but there have been several lately that are like fingernails on a blackboard.

1. Viva Viagra. Shows a bunch of silver-haired couples running around god-knows-where. Who the fuck cares? I don't want to even live to be that old. Take me God, I'm ready! And the song they rip-off - Viva Las Vegas (I fucking HATE Las Vegas, but that's another post altogether). That's all I need - 'VIVA VIAGRA!' in my head all day!


2. Kleenex. Touch. Touch. Touch. Touch. Touch. Touch. Touch. Touch. Touch. Touch. Touch. Touch. Enough fucking touching! I can't stand it! What the fuck does touching all that shit have to do with touching a kleenex? And that whisper-like sound of that voice....don't get me started. Yes, they are soft. DUH! Why in hell else would anyone buy them? Jesus. I'd like to hunt down the smarmy-bastard ad exec who created this moronic idea and castrate him (it has to be a man, women aren't that stupid) and castrate him because his stupidity should not be allowed to procreate. And the REAL moral of the commerical? Don't actually BUY the kleenex, just steal as many as you can when you come across a box somewhere else!


3. H&R Block/TurboTax - the whole lot of those type of commercials. H&R Block is the biggest rip-off I've seen in the tax prep world. I should disclose that I am a CPA so I may be a bit biased, but I've not seen an H&R Block return that I didn't amend to fix something they fucked up. "You've got people." I hate those mother-fucking people. Two weeks of training and they are suddenly pros? Pah-fucking-lease! And these latest commercials are with the dead presidents. Hasn't that been done to death? I know I recently ranted about the Blockheads but it wasn't sufficient to express my ire!


4. Burger King - I don't eat at BK, and their commercials couldn't sway me further away. That weird King suit with the built-in pedo-smile? Creepy! And the whole Whopper family - just disgusting. The one where the father is giving advice to his son about dating, and gives him an extra napkin - reminds me of my bulimia days.


5. "He went to Jared!" Materialistic bitch! What you mean is that he is in hock up to his ears to buy you a fucking blood diamond. A smart guy would buy a cheap Wal-Mart ring (don't forget to coat the inside with clear fingernail polish to avoid the green marks) and then put it in a Jared box.

What ones am I missing? I'm sure there are more.

A LEADER OF INTEGRITY

For the past 8 years, our nation has been on a downward slide. That time has finally ended. I am not sure which moment was the best for me, whether it was the goosebumps I felt as I watched Obama take the oath, or if it was the helicopter taking W away!

We have a leader of integrity. We have a leader who actually knows what it is like to WORK! He's a human; fully-evolved, even! And doesn't the First Lady look SMASHING? I'm still mesmerized by it all.

Assorted Rants

1. H&R Block Commercials - "We Got People." Sure, when you are staffed by idiots who have about 10 days of training it is certain to take "people" to get the returns done right! As a CPA who has worked my ass off for almost 11 years, I find these commercials about as offensive as so-called "professional wrestling." The number of returns of these "people" that I have had to amend to correct them is staggering. It's all about numbers -getting people in and out, customer service be damned. And the products they sell: rapid refund, loans, etc., sound so good until you realize you are paying nearly 22% interest, or even higher! And after all the money they spend on advertising, you would think they could afford a decent printer that actually prints things aligned on the damned pages.
2. It's Fucking Cold! It is -16.9°F (-27.2°C) outside. The projected high today is -5­°F (-20.5°C). Our normal high is 22­°F (-5.6°C). At least we have a substantial blanket of snow to protect my plants. I always worry about my roses, between those bastard rabbits eating them, this extreme cold does not bode well for them, either. And the cost! I can just hear the money being sucked out of my bank account!
3. Idiots. I seem to be exposed to an above average array of idiots: people who cannot manage their money by spending it frivilously and then complain they cannot pay their bills, automotons who use computers for work on a daily basis but still flip out when they get a message box, morons who supposedly graduated from college but can't apply their knowledge to routine and recurring items that should be a no-brainer for anyone who graduated high school!
4. Banks. Bail them out so they can hoard the money to buy up more failed lenders. And WE get to pay for it. They charge outrageous fees for simple, automated transactions that now make up almost more of their revenue than what is supposed to: interest! And the interest rates. They sure know how to charge it but don't know how to pay it. My local bank pays me .15% (that is about 1/7 of a percent) PER YEAR! The rates for mortgages - from 5-7% in my area, at least, and operating notes for business? Around 8-11%. Something doesn't add up. I opened an Orange Savings Account that pays 2.5% APY. If they can pay it, I don't doubt the local banks can as well! Rich bastards!

I think that's enough for today. I could probably list a zillion rants but I do not wish to sound too bitter. I'll save that for another day!

To end on a somewhat positive note, I did post new pictures of the kids on my Flickr page.